We have a cat in our house. His name is Jake and he's been with us for more than 13 years. He's not so much a cat as he is a furry pillow with feet, moving from room to room, decorating the carpet, back of a loveseat, dining room chair or cedar chest. He doesn't really play very often, but he does "meow" from time to time. Like a newborn baby, his cries sound pretty much the same, so it's up to me to figure out what he wants. Is he out of food or water? Does he want some affection? Would he like to go in the backyard?
When a little one comes into this world, there is really only one means of communication. The problem is that you can't always discern if the cries are for hunger, affection, sickness or wetness. It's trial and error until those cries become more distinguishable (mad vs. hungry).
Many people suffer from the same unfortunate problem, even as adults. Oh, it's not about the "cry" so to speak, rather their lack of REAL communication. I know far too many people who lack the ability (or perhaps desire) to truly communicate their wants, needs, desires and hopes to others. And it's so unfortunate. How sad it is to see so many precious people keeping so much bottled up inside.
Words can accomplish many things. They reflect thought, emotion or information. When I talk to someone, I want to KNOW them. I want to FEEL what they feel. I want to learn from them. Otherwise, what is the point of talking to each other?
Of course it is easy to understand why so many people don't want to open themselves up to others. When I was student teaching, I even saw it in the little ones. It's all about fear. No one wants to put themselves on the line if they might be rejected or laughed at. (I did a great lesson on this, though, and it helped a lot. I'll have to post here about "The Dot" by Peter H. Reynolds sometime.)
On the other hand, much of our ability to overcome such fear is our belief in our own self-worth. A tremendous number of people suffer from low self-esteem or low self-confidence. I have had to work on this myself at times - and it's not easy - but the rewards are extraordinary. (Note: I also need to post about keeping track of successes.)
One quote, and I cannot remember to whom to attribute it is: "The criticism that hurts the most is the one that echoes my own self-condemnation." So, if my youngest child says, "Mom, you're getting fat." and I feel like a slug, it's because I already have that thought running around in my mind. If I felt and looked great and she told me that, I'd say to her, "You need glasses. I look awesome."
Kids are great at telling the truth, aren't they? When I was student teaching, I went to class one time with my hair naturally dried and it was very, very wavy. One of the boys said, "Mrs. Vaughan, your hair is messy." I said, "It's not messy. It's the natural look. I'm starting a new trend." He blinked twice and accepted it. ;)
The thing is, we have to be free to be ourselves, to express ourselves, to believe in ourselves. I can't harbor self-doubt just because some elementary school boy thinks my hair looks like a wreck. Nor can I (or should I) allow anyone to make me feel like my thoughts or words aren't worth speaking.
Nor should you.
Give voice to your thoughts. Share your feelings with others. Communicate. And listen to others when they express themselves.
The world will be a richer place.